


Of Melancholy Messiahs and Medical Mishaps

by AuntOpossum



Category: Hiveswap, Homestuck
Genre: Adult Trolls (Homestuck), F/F, Other, We're basically here because I love clowns, but idk if I will use any of the actual cast, it's the same homestuck universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-22 15:03:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21304037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuntOpossum/pseuds/AuntOpossum
Summary: I just want to write about clown love, and a human doctor on a troll ship. Maybe a cooler summary once I get way more invested in this.
Relationships: Fan troll/reader, fan troll/original female character
Kudos: 7





	Of Melancholy Messiahs and Medical Mishaps

**Author's Note:**

> Most of this is typed for my 750 word daily task. Do I edit? No. Do I read over at all? Barely. Please enjoy this terrible content.

The aged clown looms ominously while leaning back into his imposing office chair. This feels like high school all over again, and I've been called to the principal's office. Sweating, yet freezing at the same time, I wring my hands as I wait for him to begin the scolding.

"Do you know why you've been summoned to my office, human?" The clown says with almost no tone in his voice. I fear he's angry, but from what I know of trolls, he can't be that pissed. His eyes are still the same honey yellow color, and we haven't hit pumpkin orange just yet. 

"Not... really... uh, sir." I manage to get out. My throat hurts like shit from all the screaming I was doing the night before at the incompetent patient. Church iconography hangs on all the walls in this room, and I make the unfortunate mistake of making eye contact with one. 

"You've been motherfucking stirring up all the shit in your wing of this ship since you arrived, just a week ago. The way you've been acting is guaranteed to make you enemies. We can't have our only human die, so quickly after the last one got murdered." As he says this, he shuffles through some papers on the side of his desk. "In order to prevent the same mistake from happening twice, I'm forced to assign a guard detail for you." 

Oh uh. That was not what you were expecting. Mind you, you're behavior has been the worst it's ever been since you started your professional medical career, but it's been for a justified reason. That reason being that most trolls that come to see you, are frankly, grade-A assholes. 

"Who's... going to be my guardian? Is it someone I know?" Please don't be that green guy, or that blue girl. Oh fuck or like honestly any of your previous patients (except maybe that young teal). You don't think you have the patience to deal with any of them just yet. The macho clown don't respond to my question, and instead pulls out a phone and types slowly at it. Watching him carefully hen-peck the keys on his keyboard at a snail's pace makes your nervousness grow. Without even looking up from his intense concentration towards his device, his presses a button on one of the arms of the chair, and the door behind you slides open.

In the door frame, stands an agile looking, but still incredibly intimidating clown. It's like clown city in this office now. She stalks in with the grace of a predator, something that seems unusual but also weirdly fitting for a troll of her height. Looking her up from top to bottom, she's decked out in some sort of cross between an acrobat's costume, and prima ballerina fluff. She's even got cute little ballet shoes that are laced up over her striped tights. Her hair is wavy and silky looking, a rare miracle of good hair care among clowns. Painted on one half of her face is a jolly grin with a dark circle for blush, and the other half is a row of tears and a down turned frown. On both eyes are diamonds, and her forehead has half a dark triangle painted on it, almost like a crown. 

I stand up from my uncomfortable chair, and extend my arm. Giving her, what I hope is my most charming smile (which unfortunately, seems to be interpreted as more of a smarmy smirk), I introduce myself. She simply stares at my hand as if it has personally offended her, and then glances awkwardly to the elder juggalo, who is watching this with an amused look on his ghastly face. 

"This is going to be your guardian, human." He says, leaning somehow, further back into his plush chair. As he states this, the lady in front of me seems to do a double take, looking at me, then him, then back at myself again a few times before curling her lips up in a snarl.

"This... is not... what I thought you... called me in here for..." She growls out slowly from behind her clenched teeth. The pacing of her voice hints at something incredibly dangerous, but to me, I find incredibly hot. She sounds like someone who could fuck me up, and I think the clown stuff will grow on me (hopefully). 

This could be the start of a brand new FRIENDSHIP, and I find myself grinning in excitement. The clown girl looks at me in horror as if she can read my thoughts, while the elder just laughs with his deep booming voice. Knowing clowns, and all the weird mind shit trolls can do, they just might be mind readers, or you're just that notorious of a shit-stirrer.


End file.
